Let’s be honest. Being a mum is probably the best thing you’ve ever done, but there are times when you feel forgotten. Everyone asks about the baby, but never about you. And we are just as responsible – we often forget about ourselves.
You used to nail it at work in a demanding job and hang out at trendy bars in a pair of impossibly skinny jeans. But now you spend your days in drafty community halls, singing nursery rhymes in a pair of battered old Converse.
Your life used to be full of last-minute adventures and spontaneous romance, but now you are lucky if you can go to the toilet in peace.
Remember when someone asked if you wanted to go for a drink after work and without a breath, your answer was ‘yes’?
You used to sparkle, but now you look in the mirror and pray they’ll find a cure for this eternal tiredness.
You wouldn’t change your baby for the world, but sometimes we just need to be us. The ‘us’ before kids. Well, not exactly before kids (as that just can’t happen), but a new version of us where we don’t lose sight of the fact that we were once individuals. No one ever bypassed our names and referred to us as ‘woman’ back then, and yet people are more than happy to simply call us ‘mum’ now. “What does mum think?”. Seriously? Don’t make me answer that “lady”.
As I navigate a world where I am about to be outnumbered by children, I vow to cling onto a piece of the identity that once was and wrestle my way through the possibilities and options there are out there for us. The new us. The one who can still sparkle occasionally and who might just be able to find an opportunity to remove the Converse – even if this means wearing heels at a toddler party.
I can’t promise that there won’t be days where nobody gets out of their pjs, and that’s fine – but I wonder if I can unearth any hidden gems and tips along the way that means we never forget the woman who we used to be.